chivalrouswench | Inbox (In the Night)

⟪ It's not long after she's heard it, from Arya Stark in one moment, from Jon Snow in the next. Of his death, she wishes to have doubt, so much doubt, she'd love to think him alive and breathing and fighting. But what are the odds? She has never been one to hide from the truth.

She's never been one to hide.

She knocks, sharp, decided, and part of her hopes not to be met with the kindly face of the girl she'd met before. ⟫

[ Alas, she must needs be disappointed, because Brienne is unfortunately "at home" and reponds to the knock by opening the door, though her expression is not so much kindly as carefully blank.

Her feelings when it comes to Melisandre are... complicated, to say the least, and she is not keen to let any of them show if she can help it. ]

Lady Melisandre, what can I do for you?

⟪ Melisandre wishes blankness to her face, but pain is edged into her eyes, she's paler than before, her lantern is dimmed –– she is unwell, clearly.

There is no good way to ask the question, and she doesn't have it in her to dance. ⟫

Did you kill him?

[ Brienne is no fool, she can see plain as day that something is wrong with the priestess, though she couldn't say what.

As for the question, it is too vague to answer with anything but another question. ]

Who?

Stannis.

⟪ It's the second time in so many hours that she has forgotten her courtesies, her distances, but what use are they? How little are they worth, in this moment? ⟫

Did you kill him as Arya Stark said? In some woods by Winterfell?

[ For a long moment, Brienne can only stare at Melisandre as she tries to process the thought that Stannis could be dead. It's a very... empty sort of feeling. It doesn't make anything better, and she doesn't feel justified or vindicated. ]

If I had slain Stannis, you would already know, because I would have told you.

⟪ Her head sinks, some of the fight driven out of her, making space for more pain, more grief. ⟫

I did not mean to call you dishonest.

⟪ Truth is a virtue, after all, one she attempts to hold onto as much as the Lord lets her. ⟫

It is not appropriate to come to you of all people, like this.

Oh, come inside. You're dead on on your feet.

[ Living through someone else's death is hard to do without forming at least some kind of attachment, and Brienne has never been one to relish in the suffering of others. Not even someone she feel as much contempt for as she does for Melisandre.

So she gently but firmly grabs the red woman's arm and tugs her through the door and to a chair. ]

Sit.

Edited 2019-07-15 21:04 (UTC)

⟪ This is... highly unexpected, but she lets it happen. It's just about as much fight as she has in her right now, that letting it happen. ⟫

Few have a heart like yours.

⟪ God, could she have had this kind of kindness in herself, had Brienne appeared like this? Had their roles been reversed? Many years ago, perhaps, but there has been so much war since then. ⟫

A good thing.

[ Brienne doesn't think very highly of her own heart. Such a fragile thing, so easily broken by the petty cruelties of the world. ]

Don't make too much of this. I will not say I'm sorry to hear he is dead.

[ Or that she is even particularly bothered by the accusation, much as it remains very much untrue. ]

How long since you ate anything? Or slept?

I wish we had found something else to have in common.

⟪ It is a mirror of what they spoke of, when they spoke of Renly's death. It had to be done, in her eyes, and so she had seen that it was –– and that had had consequences for more than just the false king. ⟫

I do not require much sleep. ⟪ When did she eat, though? Not that she has to do that, either, but she's much less keen to admit that. ⟫ I... don't know. Not long. ⟪ It's the face of math. ⟫ A handful of days, mayhaps.

[ Brienne knows how Melisandre felt about Stannis, and some part of her does feel a kind of grim satisfaction that the priestess now knows how she has felt since Renly died in her arms. It is an ugly thing to feel, but there it is.

As for the rest, a few days? Has this woman no sense? ]

I will fetch you something from downstairs, and you will eat it.

[ It's an order, plain and simple. She has seen this kind of despair before, not in herself, not even after Renly, but in Jaime after they took his sword hand from him. She has seen how it can make people neglect themselves to the point of death. ]

⟪ She only nods, too taken aback by the sharp tone of the order to voice an opposing opinion. There is a warrior hiding in the sweet girl, she's known that, but she hadn't seen it before. ⟫

Yes.

⟪ The worst part is Brienne leaving, the fickle distraction gone. To be alone with her thoughts is not always an easy thing, but right now, it feels like an impossibility. It's grief for Stannis, and for Devan, and for the world that is sure to fall to pieces, even though the latter had never held much love for her. It was never about that. ⟫

[ Brienne returns quickly enough, bearing a tray that has a bowl of broth and some bread on it, as well as a pitcher of water. If it's been a while since Melisandre ate it's best not to serve her something too rich. It might make her throw it all back up again.

She sets the tray down on the small table she is very grateful to have, since it means she can have her meals alone comfortably when she doesn't feel like risking any chance conversation in the communal areas. ]

Here. You will not serve him better by starving.

[ She takes a seat as well, clearly not intending to leave Melisandre out of her sight until she has her meal. ]

When Renly died, I would have tried to get to Stannis that night had Lady Catelyn not stopped me.

[ To make it even more clear that she would have owned the deed har Arya Stark's claim been true, and also perhaps to let the red woman know that she does understand some of the urge to self-destruct through grief after all. ]

Edited 2019-07-15 21:35 (UTC)

⟪ In a way, Stannis' spirit is alive and well in this very room, and it's a thought that might amuse her later, but right now, there's no space for that sort of feeling. ⟫

That would have been unwise.

⟪ But she gets the point, and takes up a spoon to have a little bit of broth. ⟫

I know I –– we, Stannis and I –– did a cruel thing to you.

[ What can she even say to that? Yes, it was cruel. It was dishonourable, monstrous. She should be strangling this woman with her bare hands, not feeding her and listening to her troubles.

Then again: What would she have done, if Renly had given her the task to steal into Stannis' tent to cut him down? Would she have denied an order from her beloved king, even such a distasteful one? ]

War makes monsters of us all.

[ Mel, having witnessed Brienne's trial and death, might remember the words spoken by Thoros of Myr. ]

Edited 2019-07-16 00:18 (UTC)

It is hard to be just in a war.

⟪ She speaks of her own, of course, the one she has fought for several centuries now, one way or another. After seeing Brienne's 'trial', she has little doubt the girl's own perception of justice has changed. ⟫

And that does not even consider how unjust the law itself can be.

I wonder if there are any laws here.

[ She feels as if there might be, and they simply haven't been taught them, and she likes that not at all. ]

I suppose much like with everything else, we will have to make our own.

⟪ The thought isn't a negative one, not really, but she still sounds as exhausted as she feels. ⟫

This is not unlike Asshai, which... There is a reason few adventurers return.

Stannis must have been... reassuring, by comparison.

[ From what she has heard, Stannis would never dream of making up his own laws.

Then again, he did stab a man in the back with a shadow blade. ]

All my life I watched my back. And yet him I trusted, fully armed in the dead of night atop a Wall of Ice with the Other approaching by the hour.

⟪ Reassuring doesn't begin to cover it. ⟫

This is what you thought of Renly, is it not?

[ Brienne nods, and while anger still lives in her, it is a little easier to contain it now. She knows what it is to serve one you love after all. She knows how all-consuming a thing it is. How much one might do for such a ruler. ]

It is.

[ Not an admission she has given to many, though Melisandre is not the first to know how Brienne felt about Renly. ]

⟪ Here is the funny part: while Melisandre fully understands that Brienne loved Renly, she does not in the least draw a single conclusion about herself. ⟫

I thought we might win the War for the Dawn this way. The armies of the Other are beyond what any of us can imagine. I spoke with ones who have seen them – they move faster than the eye can see, and steel simply bursts when it touches them, no damage done. This is what we are up against –– what we were up against. If they win this one war, they will leave no one alive in their wake.

[ Brienne might be able to help. ]

Then I suppose I must hope that you were right.

[ At least that way, Renly's death would be for something that matters. ]

It makes no difference. Stannis is dead. Azor Ahai is gone. This battle is lost before it started.

⟪ She looks at her broth as if it's personally responsible for the loss. ⟫

Inbox (In the Night)

⟪ cryptiddie personal visit, brienne's invincible room ⟫

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